I'll be 27 a month from now. Even as immature as I am, I'm starting to feel as old as I am.

Yesterday's game of Hacky Sack nearly left me a cripple. Both of my hamstrings are sore and I pulled my right groin (currently taking applications for groin masseuse). This weekend, I'll take part in the annual six-mile ThePrewitt.com Triathlon (running, drinking, puking). It will be a shame.

Labels: old people, sports

Girls breasts are getting bigger with every generation. Check out this article and all the hilarious profile shots of grandma's tiny boobs, mom's medium boobs, and daughter's suffocation sacks. Here's one family's sample.


See how the smug, big-breasted look on the face of the youngest contrasts with the humble, washboard-chested look on grandma's face?

This breast phenomenon is all good news now, but what happens when this new generation's udders age and sag on their own journey toward grandma-hood? I foresee a bra industry unlike anything we've ever seen, producing multi-geared drawbridge-like contraptions to prevent this mutant National-Geographic boob from scraping against the pavement and/or getting stuck in wheelchair spokes.

Labels: girls, old people

From the Chicago Tribune:

About 7 percent of dog owners plan to purchase a Halloween costume for their pet this year, up from 4 percent in 2004.

This number seems low. Animals don't belong in costumes. I used to think dressing up babies in costumes was just as dumb, but at least they'll grow up to have an appreciation for Halloween. Dogs won't. They'll keep trying to paw off some stupid-ass hat, only to have their owner reattach the hat and tighten the string.

Unfortunately, it gets worse.

From the Kansas City Star:

Never seen a dog in a thong? Then you’ve never seen Carol Wells’ dogs dressed up for Halloween. This year her therapy-trained Dalmatians, Carmen and Jonah, are going to be Victoria’s Secret and Joe Boxer, respectively...

When she takes the dogs on their Halloween rounds of hospitals this year, Carmen will wear a thrift-store Victoria’s Secret bra, size 32A, and black lace panties with a hole cut out for her tail. Jonah will be a Chippendale dancer in a pinstripe vest, white collar, black bow tie and black Joe Boxer underwear with fake money tucked into the waistband...

"I do it because it gets a rise out of the people that we visit,” Wells said. “And it’s helpful especially with the seniors to get them to realize what time of year it is.”

Labels: halloween, old people, pets

Jeri Anne got to meet an old man who thinks the world is ending (2:25).

What did she have to dodge while talking to him? Questions about the war? Spittle? False teeth? You'll have to listen to find out.

Labels: old people, show clips

This is Chris Casey's latest film. Take 25 minutes to watch and enjoy. Here's his MySpace site.

Labels: "Words with Chris Casey", Blade Velasquez, old people, The Gnome Guy, The Harry Potter Fan, Tips 2006

Last week, I went to the gas station. As I was about to pay, an old woman came in and made a scene about the credit card machine not reading her card at the pump. She was being unreasonable thinking she might get charged twice. Unreasonable like a fox. I think certain old people take advantage of being old by trying to cheat their way to free gasoline and other various items.

We asked our listeners, what kind of old person will you be?

Segment 1 - I know how the old people operate (2:52)

Segment 2 - The Player (1:00)

Labels: high lady, old people, show clips, swap shop